Life Lessons
We have all used the expression: “He had to learn it the hard way.” Somehow we all know that life lessons can be hard to learn if we try to do it all by ourselves, “the hard way.” Proverbs lays out the recipe for gaining wisdom you start with knowledge, add understanding and it produces wisdom. Proverbs goes on to tell us that the fear (reverence) of the Lord teaches a man wisdom (Proverbs 15:33).
So we want to be wise but we don’t want to learn everything “the hard way.” I have found that in life there are only so many life lessons you can pay for yourself. Each life lesson takes time, physical and emotional energy to pay for the lesson learned. Each of these are quantities we are all limited in. So the answer is to freely give away the life lessons you have learned and in humility borrow as many life lessons from others as you can.
Humility in this case means accepting the fact that you can’t pay for all the life lessons you need and honor those in community with you by learning from their lessons learned. I believe this is one of the reasons why God put us in relationship with others so we could share and encourage one another to greater works.
So humble yourself today and learn a life lesson from someone around you. Maybe, they will be interested in one of yours as well, and you can both avoid learning a life lesson “the hard way.”
Proverbs 15:33 The fear of the Lord teaches a man wisdom, and humility comes before honor.
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
Sunday, July 12, 2009
Store Your Best Memories First
Conflict in Relationships: In life it seems inevitable that conflict will come between people in relationship. The relationships may be family, business, social, casual, or at your church, but if you experience life together, conflict and hurt feelings are sure to occur. Once conflict occurs, it is difficult for people to forgive and forget. Subconsciously when we see someone we remember the conflict, resentment, or disappointment we felt in the past and this creates an undesired natural tension and separation from the ones you are in relationship with.
Memory Boxes: A dcotor once told me that we store our memories in boxes and have a different box for each topic or person. When we see that person our mind opens their box of memories and “loads” our memories into our consciousness involuntarily. I have found that you cannot control the process of opening the memory box and the memory upload, but you can arrange the memories in the box.
Place the Best Memories First: Arrange your memories with the best memories first, so when you see someone that you have had conflict, resentment or disappointment with, the best memory of a good time or special shared moment comes to mind first, it draws you closer and creates a sense of joy and acceptance at seeing them. This gives you an opportunity for an enjoyable interaction and drawing closer instead of the natural separation that a painful memory brings.
It Takes Practice: This takes practice, but over time the painful memories are pushed to the back of the box and are only accessible if you really hunt for them. Life is full of choices and relationships are some of life's most precious gifts. Put your best memories first, you will be amazed at how much it frees you to live.
Colossians 3:13 (NIV) 13 Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.
Memory Boxes: A dcotor once told me that we store our memories in boxes and have a different box for each topic or person. When we see that person our mind opens their box of memories and “loads” our memories into our consciousness involuntarily. I have found that you cannot control the process of opening the memory box and the memory upload, but you can arrange the memories in the box.
Place the Best Memories First: Arrange your memories with the best memories first, so when you see someone that you have had conflict, resentment or disappointment with, the best memory of a good time or special shared moment comes to mind first, it draws you closer and creates a sense of joy and acceptance at seeing them. This gives you an opportunity for an enjoyable interaction and drawing closer instead of the natural separation that a painful memory brings.
It Takes Practice: This takes practice, but over time the painful memories are pushed to the back of the box and are only accessible if you really hunt for them. Life is full of choices and relationships are some of life's most precious gifts. Put your best memories first, you will be amazed at how much it frees you to live.
Colossians 3:13 (NIV) 13 Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.
Monday, June 29, 2009
Realtionships are like a Four Legged Stool
Relationships are like a Four Legged Stool
Relationships are like a four legged stool in Trust, Respect, Commitment and Communication. Saw off one or more of the legs and the stool becomes unstable or may fall. This principle applies in friendship, marriage, parenting, business, government, anywhere relationships are involved.
Trust is a key to relationships since people need to be able to rely on what the other person is telling them. Once trust is broken it is hard to earn back. Intentionally deceiving people even if it “was all in fun” can break trust with someone and harm the relationship.
Respect must be mutual between each party in that each values the gifts and abilities of the other. Ultimately respect is valuing the other person so highly that you listen with an open heart and mind to their thoughts and ideas without prejudice.
Commitment is required by both parties in a relationship for it to work. If both parties are not 110% committed to work hard at the success of the relationship, the party doing all the work will grow tired and quit as well.
Communication handled poorly or the lack of it is likely at the root of 80% of problems in relationships. Use word pictures or other communication techniques to make sure each party clearly understands the other.
Application: Remember the four legged stool of relationships, TRCC – Trust, Respect, Commitment and Communication.
Romans 12:9-10 (NRSV) Let love be genuine; hate what is evil, hold fast to what is good; love one another with mutual affection; outdo one another in showing honor.
Relationships are like a four legged stool in Trust, Respect, Commitment and Communication. Saw off one or more of the legs and the stool becomes unstable or may fall. This principle applies in friendship, marriage, parenting, business, government, anywhere relationships are involved.
Trust is a key to relationships since people need to be able to rely on what the other person is telling them. Once trust is broken it is hard to earn back. Intentionally deceiving people even if it “was all in fun” can break trust with someone and harm the relationship.
Respect must be mutual between each party in that each values the gifts and abilities of the other. Ultimately respect is valuing the other person so highly that you listen with an open heart and mind to their thoughts and ideas without prejudice.
Commitment is required by both parties in a relationship for it to work. If both parties are not 110% committed to work hard at the success of the relationship, the party doing all the work will grow tired and quit as well.
Communication handled poorly or the lack of it is likely at the root of 80% of problems in relationships. Use word pictures or other communication techniques to make sure each party clearly understands the other.
Application: Remember the four legged stool of relationships, TRCC – Trust, Respect, Commitment and Communication.
Romans 12:9-10 (NRSV) Let love be genuine; hate what is evil, hold fast to what is good; love one another with mutual affection; outdo one another in showing honor.
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